Day 2 of Thanks and Blessings...

Today, I am thankful for the men at First Presbyterian Church who come and pray on Tuesday mornings and leave breakfast for the rest of us!

My Daily Blessings and Thanks, Day 1

November brings us Thanksgiving. Every day this month, I plan to share something that is a blessing or that I'm thankful for.

Day 1... today, I am thankful that Kraft Foods listens to its customers--they are bringing back Roka Blue Cheese spread for the holidays. It's a key ingredient in my favorite cheeseball recipe.

Grandpa

My precious Grandpa died Friday morning around 1:20... there's a certain peace when you are with a loved one as they pass into God's arms.

Monday night before Grandpa died, Mimi called and told me she needed me do something... she wanted me to be thinking about what I was going to say at Grandpa's funeral. Wow....

I started jotting notes, then put the finishing touches on it around midnight the night before we buried him. I never read the whole thing through in one sitting. Just before it was time to go up and speak, I thought I was going to throw up. However, I think I did a damn good job and I wanted to share it with you....

"I asked Jim (the preacher) to keep his message short because it’s not difficult for me to be long-winded, especially when it comes to talking about my Grandpa.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” Rayburn Ross was a priceless work of art!

Anyone who knows me knows how precious my Grandpa was to me. I’ve long said that aside from my children, my Mimi and Grandpa are the most precious people in my life. Lucky for me I have an understanding husband.

Tim told me I wouldn’t be able to get up here and speak today. In true Ross fashion, I had to prove him wrong. Some may call it being stubborn or hard-headed; I prefer “strong-willed” and “determined.” Don’t tell a Ross they can’t do something!

I have so many stories I could share… but Mimi asked me not to embarrass her. Grandpa and I both have tendencies to do that! Probably one of our finest moments of shaming Mimi was a trip to Jefferson City we took when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Mimi was being appointed by the governor to the position of Dunklin County Clerk, the office where she had worked for almost 30 years at the time. While she was meeting with the governor, Grandpa and I were loose in the Capital building. It was a Friday afternoon, so there was not much activity going on and Grandpa and I had gotten bored with just sitting. We found a roll-y office type chair out in the hall, so we took turns rolling each other up and down the hallway of the Capitol building. When Mimi came out of her meeting and caught us, she was mortified! Needless to say, we both got a pretty good scolding… we should have known better than to act that way!

We logged a lot of miles together over the years. Besides the Capitol trip, we went to Silver Dollar City, the Trail of Tears state park, many shopping trips to Memphis and Cape. Most of the rides I took with him, though, were right here around town. I loved riding with Grandpa… until I began to notice that he wasn’t as careful sometimes as maybe he should have been. The first time I was a little scared was on a shopping trip to Memphis. We realized that Grandpa had missed his exit. Instead of going ahead and turning around, he just decided to back down the ramp. I laughed until I saw the 18-wheeler coming toward us. Luckily we escaped unharmed!

A few years later, Mimi and Grandpa were taking my brother Marc, my friend Lynn and me to Dyersburg. As Grandpa was backing out of the driveway, Mimi told him to be sure and be careful because he was carrying “precious cargo”, referring of course to Marc, Lynn and me. As serious as he could, he looked at her said, “Well, I’m wearing my seat belt!” Indeed, he was our precious cargo!

As Grandpa’s driving skills declined, we all began to have great concern that he was going to seriously injure himself or someone else. That was never more apparent than when he had his last accident. It was a Sunday and he hadn’t felt well that morning so he stayed home from church, something that was unusual for him. Mimi’s birthday was the next day, though, so he headed to Walmart to get her a birthday card. On the way there, he ran into a car that “pulled out in front of him.” After the official business of the accident was over, he continued on to Walmart; he couldn’t forget the birthday card. When he got home, he told Mimi that he probably needed to quit driving. She asked him why and he said that he had had another accident. Realizing he had not been injured, she asked him if anyone was hurt. He said, “No, I think they’s already dead.” Alarmed, Mimi asked him what he was talking about and he explained that he had hit a “hearst”. My Grandpa hit a hearse in a funeral procession! Y’all be careful heading to the cemetery later.

Grandpa loved going places! He was always ready to GO—with anyone, anywhere at any time!
Grandpa’s driving days were over when Tim and I remodeled our house a few years ago and he relished any opportunity he was given to GO. Tim called him one morning and asked him if he’d like to ride over to Jackson to Home Depot with him. Grandpa hurriedly and excitedly responded, “Yeah… who is this?” It really didn’t matter who it was or where they were going… he was ready to go.

Grandpa had a life-long love affair with girls and women! It began in 1923 with Mama. Grandpa adored his Mama and so much of her was emulated through him. He loved children as much as she did. When we were little, he’d rock us and sing to us. Now, Grandpa didn’t have the greatest singing voice, but oh, how we loved to hear his songs. We’d ask him to sing them over and over again to us, but of course he couldn’t… he made them up on the spot and often would forget what he’d sung to us. It didn’t matter, though… Grandpa’s lap was just where we wanted to be.

I can’t imagine a more doting brother than Grandpa was to his sisters. He often times even took on a more fatherly role; he gave Ann away at her wedding to Carl and even asked Mama if he could raise Mary Jo as his own.

Mimi and Grandpa lost their only daughter, Peggy, when she was just a young girl. Grandpa didn’t speak of her often to me, but when he did, I could plainly see the love he still had for her, even after all these years, his adoration of that little girl was so obvious.

Being the oldest grandchild and the only granddaughter, something I liked to remind him of EVERY chance I got, I knew what a special place in his heart I held. I’ve always liked to tease my brothers and boy cousins how much more special I am than they are. A Welsh proverb says “Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” With Grandpa, I felt that perfect love.

Even when Grandpa became a great-grandfather and had great-granddaughters, I had to remind him that I was still the greatest one he had. And, ultimately, he would remind me that he was the only grandpa I still had.

Nevertheless, of all the women in his life, his one true love was always my Mimi. Miss Benfield, the schoolteacher, caught his eye almost 70 years ago, and for nearly 67 years, they have lived their love story right in front of us. The devotion they shared never faltered, even towards the end of Grandpa’s life. Not many images in my mind are more precious than the way Grandpa’s eyes would light up when Mimi returned to the nursing home after a very brief time away, doing laundry or tending to other needs in their household. He would smile so big, it would bring tears to anyone’s eyes. She baked cookies one Sunday afternoon—peanut butter cookies, Grandpa’s favorite! When she brought them, he couldn’t wait to share them with his friends and with the staff, saying they were freshly baked. And, of course, everyone knows that Mimi bakes the best cookies EVER. He was tickled to share his cookies, because he knew the love that went into them and he wanted to share that love.

Being in the military himself, Grandpa was a big support to Daddy, my Uncle Richard and my cousin Lee when each of them were in the service. I know this was especially difficult when both of Grandpa’s sons were serving in Vietnam simultaneously and again when Lee was in three combat zones, Desert Storm, Iraqi Freedom and Kosovo.

Grandpa loved each of us in his own special way. As a little girl, I spent every Saturday night at Mimi and Grandpa’s. I’d call him and tell him I was ready for him to come pick me up, so he’d drive down to the house… and wait on me. He always waited on me, even though he threatened every week to leave me. He would also threaten to “bust my bean wagon” when I had done wrong. Of course, Mimi never let him … not that he ever really would have tried. He was a softie. He let me jump on his bed (only when Mimi wasn’t paying attention… that would have gotten both of us in trouble!). He’s the one who gave me my Saturday night baths and I was always amazed at he could get so many suds on the washcloth. After my shampoo, he’d blow dry my hair with the comb attachment… never the brush—that tangled my hair. When the primping routine was over, he’d pop us some popcorn and we’d watch “Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island”. And then Grandpa and I would crawl in bed. We loved watching the headlights of the cars go around the walls in his room.

In the nursing home, I would sing to Grandpa, to try and comfort him like he used to do me all those years ago. Most of the time, he would sing along with me.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know dear how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

God has taken my tired sunshine away, but He’s made him vibrant once more. Thank you God for sharing him with me all these years… we are all so blessed!"

Grandparent's Day

Today is Grandparent's Day.

I'm still so fortunate to have my Mimi and Grandpa in my life. I'm 40 (and a half!) years old and still have two living grandparents... isn't that awesome?? When Big Joz and I married, all eight of our grandparents were still living and seven were at our wedding. He lost his last grandparent, Grammi, last November. She was as precious to him as my Mimi is to me.

I'm not trying to wish my life away or to wish my kids to grow up any faster than they already are, but I'm looking forward to being a Big Mama... someone told me yesterday that my grandchildren will be awful--we're going to have so much fun! I only hope that I can look at all the grandparents who have set such loving wonderful examples for Big Joz and me and become someone so dear and precious to my grandbabies... I have big shoes to fill!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job!!

OK, I admit... I've not done so well at keeping my blog updated. I'm not even going to attempt another promise...

I started a new job last Wednesday; I'm the Church Secretary for First Presbyterian Church. Yes, I am Methodist, and yes, I've worked as Methodist Church Secretary for several years (at two different churches), but they didn't have anything to offer me, so I went on down the street.

My first week at work started on a Wednesday (and I'm off on Fridays), so I only worked two days my first week. With Labor Day falling this week, I'm only working three days. It'll be my third week of work before I work a "full" four day work week.

Anyway, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job! Tom, the pastor, is wonderful! I have asked several people to give me the inside scoop on his weaknesses and downfalls... I've not had anyone yet who can tell me even one! He and his wife Ashley are expecting their first baby in five weeks, so I'm thrilled to be able to be around a newborn again!

Yesterday, a precious older woman came in the office and Tom asked her if she had met "Paige" yet... she looked at me so sweetly and asked, "Our Paige?" It absolutely made my day!

Then last night, Mimi was telling me about Grandpa getting a large manila envelope in the mail yesterday at the "Rehab Center" (aka nursing home). The Tuesday morning men's prayer group sent Prayer Grams to Grandpa last Tuesday... the day before I even started working!!

I love this congregation and am so looking forward to serving them!

I promise...

I've not really been too good at keeping my blog updated recently, have I? I promise I'll do better... starting tomorrow. I really do have a lot to say and share and I know you've just been dying to know what's on my mind!

It's Friday!

I love Fridays!

This is the third week of my new job... don't know that I have EVER felt this stupid at a job in my whole life. I'm enjoying it, though. Like my new friend/co-worker a lot... although I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm crazy and I know she thinks I'm self-centered, but we are just clicking along real well.

Got a hair cut yesterday... feel much better now. Was aiming for growing it out, but the "real me" prevailed and it's shorter now--the hair, not the real me. I'm still the same height I was yesterday.

I love black yoga pants from Lady Foot Locker. I don't do yoga, but they are comfortable for most any activity... except maybe swimming. But if you're gonna have to wear pants while you swim, they may as well be black yoga pants.

I really hope I get to sleep in tomorrow! I miss sleep.

Friends, please let me know if you read my blog or not... if not, what's the use of me spilling my random thoughts??

Missing Me?

Had my repeat mammogram today...my boobs are normal. That's a relief! Will have my routine mammo in December.

My sinuses aren't so normal. Coughing sucks...especially when you have leakage. Sorry.... Have started a Z-Pack; hopefully will be back to "normal" soon. Yeah--normal is simply a setting on a washing machine!

Have discovered the Peach Martini. Thank you Tess from Harvey's at Starkville who introduced me to the concept.

Haven't been here in a while. Not that I haven't had anything to talk about! I turned 40 not long ago! Lots of stories there.

Hopefully I'll do better at blogging now that I'm older.

My Bosoms (and Way Too Much Info for the Regular Joe!)

Getting older is beginning to not be so much fun.

I went for my annual exam a couple of weeks ago. My doctor (OK, actually it was the nurse practitioner I saw because my “regular” doctor--the one I’ve seen once before), is swamped. Turns out, I really like Alison, so it worked out great for me—which is what it’s all supposed to be about anyway, right?? While I was there, Alison asked me if I was interested in getting my “Healthy You!” screening. “Healthy You!” is a wellness program offered by Mississippi Blue Cross/Blue Shield which will pay for a urinalysis, CBC, glucose, and lipid labs and a mammogram once a year for women my age. Thirty-nine for just over another month, thank you!! Free tests to make sure I’m up to par? Sure! Sign me up! Especially since the government is wanting to change all that. That’s another story, though.

Luckily, my Pap came back normal. That’s where the fun ends. Like there’s ever any fun involved with a Pap to begin with!

My urinalysis showed a urinary tract infection. OK…didn’t realize anything was wrong, but one round of antibiotics later and hopefully that little issue is taken care of.

CBC showed my white blood cells a little elevated, but that was understandable due to the UTI. Glucose was within normal limits (thank goodness I’ve not developed diabetes like several other members of my family!). Lipids… hmmm…. My cholesterol was a little high (202). Not too too bad considering my butter intake, I think. However, broken down, my “good” cholesterol was not too good and my “bad” cholesterol was a little bad. I’ve got to be more mindful of my diet and exercise for the next six months. OK, I can handle all that.

Two days ago I went for my first mammogram. Was a tiny touch wigged out because of my mother instilling in me the thought of the power going out while my boobs were smooshed. I’m sorry…you now have a visual concept of that, don’t you? Thank my mother next time you see her.

Whatever dignity a woman has before childbirth pretty much flies out the window afterward. Well, it did for me anyway. So having another woman place and arrange my ta-tas on a cold plate was really no big deal. I realize I’m not like most women. The “pressure” that was supposed to feel “uncomfortable” was really no big deal either. I won’t tell you what my friend said about that, but you can probably imagine.

So, the mammographer takes the usual images—front and diagonal of each breast. Then she comes back in needing to take two more of the right breast. Not unusual for a first mammogram, on someone “younger” with denser breasts. These, I learned, were “spot” films…she was getting a better look at a particular area. After those, she came back in needing one more. This time, my right boob was smashed side to side as I leaned into the machine—the mammographer was below me trying to “adjust” me just so—kind of like the game Twister.

I heard talking outside the exam room. I figured out the mammographer was talking to the radiologist.

Next thing I know, I’m escorted to the ultrasound room. The tech squeezed the warm, blue gel on me; it made me remember the old days of listening to the baby’s heartbeat. No noise this time, though. She showed me the area that the mammographer was probably seeing and took several images.

After I got dressed, the radiologist spoke with me and showed me all my films. Not that I understood what I was looking at, but still getting to see “it” satisfied my curiosity. There is a “mass” about 9 mm in my right breast. It’s probably a fibroadenoma as he told me, 95% chance of being a benign tumor, but he would be recommending a biopsy.

Yesterday morning, Alison called me to go over the results of the day before. Poor thing…when I came in that day, she probably was thinking “routine exam”…. No big deal. Little did she know. Nothing about me is routine! She said that the radiologist’s report listed the mass as a Category 4—“suspicious abnormality”. She also concurred with the radiologist and recommended me having a biopsy.

I have an appointment Monday morning with a “breast specialist”—only the best for my boobs, you know! He’ll look at my films, go over my records and discuss what will happen next.

And just so you know…I’m not worried, scared or freaked out. At least I think I’m not.

Cooking is therapeutic for me and last night I made Peanut Brittle for the very first time in my life. My excuse was that I didn’t want my dear sweet husband to go without homemade Peanut Brittle at Christmastime. His Grammi made it every year and he had commented that he guessed he wouldn’t have any this year. He does now. And right now, I have chicken on the stove and am going to attempt to make chicken and dumplings for the very first time in my life.

No, I’m not worried, scared or freaked out… I just want to KNOW.

Mr. Big...a love/hate relationship...

No, I'm not talking about Sex & The City.

I ran over my dog. It was an accident....seriously, it was!

This is the dog I really didn't want. Pud begged for him and promised she would take total responsibility for him. I knew better, but Big Joz gave in, so we got Mr. Big. And, in all honesty, he was pretty cute and hard to resist...at first. Now, he pees and poops all over our house. It disgusts me. It disgusts me more that Pud doesn't clean up after him like she promised she would!

As if the peeing and pooping thing wasn't a big enough issue, he started having seizures. Initially the vet thought he was hypoglycemic, so following a seizure, we'd give him a spoonful of Karo syrup. The seizures were pretty sporadic, but often enough that it was a little frustrating. In August, he had five pretty major seizures in about a 16-hour time period. Out of Karo syrup, I took him to the vet. Turns out, Mr. Big is epileptic and now takes Phenobarbital twice a day.

OK, so we have this dog I didn't want. Now the dog uses our floors for his toilet. And he is on twice-daily meds for epilepsy. Gosh, I just don't understand why I would rather he live somewhere else!

Big Joz threatened to just turn him out and let him loose, but I just didn't have the heart to allow him to go through with it. He also threatened to take him to the pound and say we just found him. Again, I couldn't do it...what would he do without his medicine?

Sunday night, it happened. As I was pulling into the garage, I saw our other dog, Ben, run out from the back yard (the fence had been left open). What I didn't see was Mr. Big run towards me. I heard this spine-chilling noise, instantly realizing what had happened. Our little six pound nuisance got under my more than six pound vehicle and tire. Oh, the sounds he made. I panicked... should I pull forward? Should I back up? I think I did both. Then put the car in park and hoped to high heavens he wasn't completely mangled, enough to make one's stomach sink further into the pits of Hell.

He was obviously injured. I brought him inside to see how badly he was hurt. He wouldn't even look at me (although hearing my voice did seem to calm him down). I went outside to turn the car off and when I came back in, he had wandered off and hidden from me. Then Big Joz and the kids started arriving home. I secretly told Big Joz what had happened and he went looking for Mr. Big. When he found him, he brought him to our bed and wrapped him in a blanket. Big Joz thought Mr. Big would be fine. Whew!

The next morning, Big never made his presence known. It alarmed becuase he is usually underfoot every time I turn around, peeing or pooping somewhere else. When I found him, he still wouldn't look at me. And his injured leg was really warm to the touch. And swollen. And kind of dangling. So I went against what Big Joz had told me and I took him to the vet, where I left him for tests and x-rays.

Yesterday morning I got the call saying that he had a compound fracture in his leg, he was dehydrated and his liver enzymes were high. Because of the medicine he takes for epilepsy, they had to be really cautious with the anesthetic they would need to use the set the leg (or to put him to sleep for surgery if the leg couldn't be set). The vet had hoped to set the leg yesterday morning, but Mr. Big had had some seizures, so he waited. I just called the vet's office again this morning to check on him. The vet was able to set the leg this morning and he has a soft bandage/cast that he will wear for (hopefully) about three weeks. He will also be on antibiotics for about three weeks (in addition to his Phenobarb). I get to pick him up at four this afternoon. I wonder if he'll look at me?

Mr. Big, I'm sorry you were stupid enough to get under my car. Mr. Big, I'm sorry you're going to end up costing us mucho cash for this. Mr. Big, I'm sorry you'll come home and pee and poop in our floor. Mr. Big, I've missed you snuggling in my bed. Mr. Big, I promise I didn't run over you on purpose. Mr. Big, I do hate some of the things you do, but I do love you, too.