Wax On, Wax Off

I went for my first bikini wax today. Left my dignity at the door.

Pud & I are leaving for the beach with friends of ours Friday. I'm SOOO excited!! However, given my larger mid-section, I knew that my bikini area had not had the proper attention paid to it as of late, so I scheduled a wax. The day I scheduled my appointment, I read online about a woman dying following a bikini wax because she developed cellulitis. That's comforting. I could die because I'm fat.

My friend told me to take some Advil before I went. I would rather have had a glass (bottle) of wine. But, since I had to come back to work, I didn't think the alcohol would be my best option. Besides, that may add to the risk factor of cellulitis, I don't know.

I was scared to death and nervous as a whore in church before my appointment. Thought about canceling, but remembered that I can't see the Bic down there. And I remembered how Big Joz's mother looked on her first day at the beach...like she was "trying to smuggle Chewbacca in her underpants," said my sympathetic husband. I didn't want that.

I walked in to the day spa and this very nice girl led me back to a quiet room (with rather bright lights for a day spa!). Now, I had already given the lighting situation some thought. I am typically not really a modest person, but the idea of having my nether regions on display for a stranger to do something really hurtful to me freaked me out a little. Then I realized that the stranger would have hot wax around my nether regions...maybe it'd be best if she could actually SEE what she was doing!

She asked me "how much" I wanted her to do. I explained to her that I didn't want to embarrass myself or others by the sight of me in a swimsuit (refer to above comment about Big Joz's mom). I wanted to get my money's worth, but there was no need of exposing the full monty.

She then handed me a piece of dental floss with a small triangle-shaped one-ply napkin. I could wear this if I felt more "comfortable". Really?? At this point, it's like childbirth...I was on display for a stranger to have her hands touching parts of my body that are for my husband's pleasure, not hers.

And so, the torture began.

Actually, it wasn't as bad as I had expected (must have been the Advil!). I just wish it could have been as simple as one big rip off rather than several smaller ones. After a while in the same area, I got a little sore. Then she pulled out the tweezers. And keep in mind, we were just talking and laughing the entire time. That seemed to put me at ease a little, though.

So, I'm no longer a bikini wax virgin...Laura took that from me. All in all, it's not something I will look forward to doing again, but when the time comes, maybe I won't be quite so freaked out.