I do my best thinking in the shower. This morning I was thinking about today being my Grandpa's birthday. And then I thought about him being gone and what I remember about him. Then... it dawned on me--Elvis was 42 when he died; the same age I am now! He was an icon; a legend! Look at all he accomplished in his lifetime, the name he made for himself. "What name have I made for myself?", I wondered.
How will I be remembered? Simply, I want to be remembered as a GOOD person.
* a GOOD daughter who, more often than not, doesn't have the patience for her mother but delights in sharing crazy (but true) stories about her.
* a GOOD daughter who lovingly and patiently cared for her father when he was so ill--a man she had never been close to growing up, but longed for his attention.
* a GOOD granddaughter who feels that she owes so much to the two people she could always count on for unconditional love... she'll never be able to show them the love she was always given.
* a GOOD mother who, despite trying her best, mostly feels like a failure.
* a GOOD wife, whose husband no longer wants to be married to her.
Who am I? What will my legacy truly be? Will I be remembered as a selfish, spoiled bitch... really? I've tried to be a GOOD person; I really have. But so often, I feel as if I've fallen short too many times.
1 comment:
You know I feel exactly the same way. At the very least I try to be good at caring for those closest to me, but I'm mostly stuck feeling like a perpetual failure. Still drifting around trying to figure out who I am in the middle of all the crazy. Maybe Elvis felt the same way.
Post a Comment